by Leigh-Ann Larson

From what I have seen, heard and lived, wisdom is a choice. Actually, wisdom is a collection of many choices, made all day long, every day. It is a “way of being in the world.’ And sadly, making mistakes is the only vehicle to gaining wisdom.

Mistakes are made, consequences earned and the next time around, a different decision is made, with better outcomes. This, in a nutshell is wisdom. Gaining wisdom can be a very painful process. But it doesn’t have to be. Here are the observations that I have made about the two roads to wisdom:

  1. The first is more painful than the latter. The first, is that we personally make mistakes, suffer consequences and the next time we are faced with this same decision we (hopefully) make a different choice that does not have a painful consequence. Wonderful, wisdom is gained!
  2. The second, less painful road to wisdom: we learn from the mistakes of others, see their consequences, and personally decide that if we ever have to make that choice, we will do it differently. This decision is not made in judgement toward the person who made the error, but rather in discernment based on the life we want to build. When we gain wisdom by observing consequences in the lives of others, there is an opportunity to live a less “painful” life. And isn’t that the goal, to live with the least amount of pain and suffering as possible?

Wisdom is the vehicle in which we can reduce self-induced suffering. This is why talking to a counselor can be so helpful. Counselors have insight into themes and patterns in life that can help normalize your experiences, validate your choices and point out the “red flags” along the way. Your counselor is a listener, your counselor is a keeper of stories and these stores have immeasurable wisdom.

There other ways to gain this insight as well: hiring a coach or consultant, joining a network of people that have similar experiences that you are looking to explore. Belonging to professional associations or on-line groups or list serves that discuss issues that are relevant to your personal or professional life are also wonderful ways to gain wisdom.

Here is my encouragement to you to build your wise, least painful life: Surround yourself with people that you consider wise- personally and professionally. Ask a lot of questions before making any big decisions. Read up on your options and interview mentors. Practice making good choices, based on the observations you have made and the wise advise that you have been given by those that you trust to be wise. Take the blinders off and with your “eyes wide open” accept the consequences that come from the decisions you make: ultimately, all choices lead us to the road of “wise mind.” My hope for you (and me) is that one decision at a time, we can be our wisest selves in every moment of every day!